Astronomers can’t believe you’ve forgotten the new zodiac sign

Ophiuchus = sweet snake-handling dude

It was just a couple of months ago that astronomers everywhere tried to bring Ophiuchus, the newest zodiac symbol, into our consciousness. However, by now the average person has forgotten—or completely dismissed—the idea of a new zodiac. Astronomers are not happy.

“Are you kidding me? This was the biggest news since the demotion of Pluto!” chides Michael Shane, head of the Physics Department at Kenyon College. “How can anyone think that there’s anything more important than this? This is madness!
                   
“I’ve spent years studying the sidereal patterns, and I have to tell you—if you’re not ready to make the switch to Ophiuchus, you’re doomed to a lifetime of incorrect predictions from astrologers and horoscopes.

“Besides—how could you dismiss such a cool new sign? I mean, c’mon—a snake handler? This guy’s awesome! What’s wrong with you?

“Good luck. You’re gonna need it, fool.”