Shopping carts and baskets tired of being ditched go on strike

Doctor John is what I get when I Google "shopping cart on strike."

“Look, just because it’s someone’s job to put us back doesn’t mean it’s cool to leave us hanging around in a parking lot,” argues Thomas #3, the leader of the Shopping Conveyances’ Union Local #454.

Apparently, shoppers are frequently ditching their carts in places they shouldn’t–and enraging the carts themselves. And now the carts are doing something about it.

“If it wasn’t for me, you’d be stuck carrying your kid, 24 rolls of toilet paper, and a Jerry McGuire DVD in your hands. How about a little respect?”

Until further notice, the Union is on strike. They’re demanding higher wages, better housing, and an anti-choking game campaign for the workers that typically corral them. Let’s hope that retail locations everywhere can end this crisis so we can go back to buying a lot of stuff.